How DrHGuy First Connected With Leonard Cohen: 3. Anjani Writes Dear DrHGuy Letter

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Update (2017): Introduction

This is the third in a set of 1HeckOfAGuy1 entries that I am reposting in response to questions about how l first became involved with Leonard Cohen

 

 

The content below was originally published Aug 17, 2006.

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Hey, That’s Not A Bad Way To Say Goodbye
Anjani WritesTo DrHGuy

Dearest HGuy,

Being that you’ve already heard my voice AND seen me in my knickers* whereas images of you on your site are curiously (coyly? purposely? blessedly?) absent, I am at a slight disadvantage in imagining your participation in the admittedly remote possibility of a night of wild debauchery with Tina and Tanita.

In any case, although I am unable to return your fervent declarations of adoration, may I take this moment to express my appreciation for your stalwart efforts to mine the innermost chambers of your psyche for the entire world to peruse? Please consider setting these couth illuminations into a book that I feel sure would make for pleasurable bathtime reading.

And now, a word from the poet:
Note from LC: When you next write heckofaguy, please thank him for his strenuous efforts on my behalf.

And if you would offline, care to send me your snail mail address, the poet would like to send you his latest literary offering Book Of Longing, just to show there are no hard feelings over your reckless communiqué.

As Ever,
AT

*I refer to page 4 of the Blue Alert cd booklet.

From DrHGuy To Anjani

Anjanikins,

Well, there is a photo of me located at Walkernastics: DrHGuy’s Walker Dismount Demo, although it doesn’t feature me in your knickers, as intriguing as that thought may be. I fear that visualizing me will not do much in stimulating your orgiastic visions.

And, as it turns out, I’m familiar with page 4 of the Blue Alert booklet, although my viewing has always focused almost exclusively on your implied domestic skills. [Note To Readers: No, I’m not going to scan page 4 into the blog. That kind of thing is a private matter between Anjani and me – and the thousands of folks who own the CD. Buy your own darn copy.]

I’ve been to splitsville2 enough times to recognize a “Dear John/Dearest HGuy” letter, however gently and graciously written,3 when I see one. This is, however, the first such goodbye missive I’ve received that included a consolation prize4 (“Thanks for playing, and you’ll receive the home version of our game.”), which is a classy touch. The gift of The Book Of Longing is much appreciated. I’d reciprocate in kind, but I suppose the collection of erotic limericks I’ve composed while in the throes of dating, Terse Verse: Perverse & Worse, is inappropriate at this point.

Although I lament surrendering the notion of the two of us being immortalized in Chelsea Hotel No. 3 (which would have, naturally, spun off its own sequel, starring you, Tina, Tanita, and me in Chelsea Hotel Suite, Nos. 4-6), it’s a simple calculation to determine that my relationship with you has been more fun, far sexier, and much, much less costly than my first marriage and a high percentage of Match.com trysts. It has been, in fact, a hoot (maybe a hoot and a half).

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Besides, as a little time passes my version of our history will inevitably expand to encompass all manner of anatomically challenging, imagination boggling saturnalia.

So, tell The Poet that The Doctor says “Hey” and “Thanks.”

Finally, I hope you’ll always remember this about me — that you have a moral obligation, should you, Tina, and Tanita hook up, to invite me. I, of course, will be in contact with you immediately, should I get to them first.

You are a heck of a gal5

Fondly,
HGuy

More To Come – Stay Tuned

Credit Due Department: Photo atop this post by Paul Zollo
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  1. 1HeckOfAGuy.com was a predecessor of Cohencentric []
  2. I had assumed that no one has ever used “splitsville” outside an Archie & Jughead comic book, but Google gets 400,000 hits for the word. Go figure. []
  3. It could be so much worse. There’s a country-western song with the instructive title, “Get Your Tongue Out Of My Mouth, Because I’m Kissing You Goodbye” []
  4. I don’t think that residual tic over my left eye I’ve had since the ex-barrel racer and I broke up counts as a consolation prize []
  5. That’s official, by the way; I also own the heckofagal.com domain []