Top Five Leonard Cohen’s Funniest Song Lyrics

Top Vote-Getters: Poll For Leonard Cohen’s Funniest Song Lyrics

Note: All lyrics nominated for Leonard Cohen’s Funniest Song Lyrics can be viewed at Vote For Leonard Cohen’s Funniest Song Lyrics)

#3-5 (Tie, 6.7% of votes cast): Chelsea Hotel #2

You told me again you preferred handsome men
but for me you would make an exception.

Video: Leonard Cohen – Chelsea Hotel #2
HP Pavilion – San Jose: Nov 13, 2009
Video by albertnoonan
The video automatically begins at the pertinent portion of the performance.


 

#3-5 (Tie, 6.7% of votes cast): Closing Time

She’s a hundred, but she’s wearing something tight

Closing Time – Official Video
The video automatically begins at the pertinent portion of the performance.


 

#3-5 (Tie, 6.7% of votes cast): Don’t Go Home With Your Hard-On

Full song

Video: Live (Pre-Spector) Version
Leonard Cohen – Don’t Go Home With Your Hard-on

Bryn Mawr: Nov 23, 1975
Audience recording uploaded by messalina79 aka Ruth Pietroni

Video: Studio Version (Produced by Phil Spector)
Leonard Cohen – Don’t Go Home With Your Hard-on
From Death Of A Ladies’ Man: 1977


 

#2 (9.8% of votes cast): Anyhow

Full song

Video: Leonard Cohen – Anyhow
Manchester: August 31, 2013
Video: MadLennyFan aka Mandy MacLeod


 

#1 (13.5% of votes cast): Everybody Knows

Everybody knows that you love me baby
Everybody knows that you really do
Everybody knows that you’ve been faithful
Ah give or take a night or two
Everybody knows you’ve been discreet
But there were so many people you just had to meet
Without your clothes

Video: Leonard Cohen – Everybody Knows
Dublin: Sept 12, 2013

5 Replies to “Top Five Leonard Cohen’s Funniest Song Lyrics”

  1. rike

    Just curious, now that spring is almost here and the results are in: What are your favorite lines?

    1. DrHGuy Post author

      Is This What You Wanted also gets my vote for the funniest lines of any Leonard Cohen song – and the lyricsm most likely to be mistaken for a Grand Ole’ Opry performance:

      … you were Marlon Brando
      I was Steve McQueen
      You were KY Jelly
      I was Vaseline
      You were the father of modern medicine
      Yeah I was Mr. Clean
      You were the Whore & the Beast of Babylon
      I was Rin Tin Tin …

  2. Sidsel Bryde

    Irrestible cat and the crumb and he who walked on the water and that about the frontpiece of the motorboat, all mahogany, shells floating and suspending in deepest thoughts of the raising plus a high blue gown.
    Plus all of the others. Filling books and CD-s and concerts plus-plus, and the truth of the Johnny Walker wisdom and that nothing depends on us, so just listen.
    Most moving is the veil – makes one cry and the Flower made of Stone. Guess one must have been sitting in front of it, thinking to mark it out so firmly.
    For another one, it would take days and years to find it, plus see that the battery of the camera was out, so come back another day, you do not chose such moments. They chose (for) you.

  3. Myron L.

    I have one to add, an early LC lyric from A Bnch of :

    “I sing this for the crickets,
    I sing this for the army,
    I sing this for your children
    And for all who do not need me.”

    Crickets = armies?? Very witty. It should get a smile.